Executive Impact & Presence: Leading Through Compassion, Power & Responsibility

This book, authored by Barbara Bouchet, will be available in 2008. To be notified of its release, simply send an e-mail.

The following excerpt on is taken from Chapter 9: Creative Tension

Acceptance and Accountability

"Acceptance doesn’t mean failing to hold others (or yourself) accountable. Accountability is an important part of leadership effectiveness. Since both acceptance and accountability are reality based, they work quite nicely together. When you create standards, communicate expectations, get agreements and follow up in a consistent and clear way with reviews and feedback, you are establishing accountability.

But other people will still do what they do for reasons you have absolutely no control over. And prevailing conditions will generate events you have no control over either. Understanding and making peace with this is good for relationships and is good for business.

Sometimes it becomes necessary to accept the unacceptable. There are some truly horrific aspects of reality (you name it) that must still be accepted. Why? Because they exist. Because denial is an illusion that you can’t afford as a leader. Reality can be cruel, unjust and bitter, but it must be accepted in order to work with it constructively.

Facts and information that are unwelcome must be accepted as well. This is where the commitment to accountability is often tested. If you are reality based and effective, you need all the information you can get, even if it makes you squirm. Reality does that sometimes. So don’t shoot the messenger. Word gets around, and if you punish the carrier of bad news, you’ll cut off your supply of vital, even if difficult, information.

Accepting uncomfortable or threatening information is easier when you:

• Suspend reactions (witness, observe) until you have a complete picture.
• Acknowledge feelings of loss, anger, resentment, fear, disappointment, bitterness, anxiety, etc.
• Recognize that things are just as bad as they are but they also are not worse than they are.
• Don’t make up scary stories or imagine horrible possibilities that serve no productive purpose.
• Assess and investigate what is going on here and now before you take action. 

Accepting yourself, others, and any other aspect of reality that comes your way will lead to greater stability and grounded awareness in all your relationships. Holding yourself and others accountable to your commitments, will bring further integrity to who you are. Both acceptance and accountability are necessary for a positive and powerful executive presence."

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