Issue 20 October 2009
Resist Over-Functioning
Resist the temptation to over-function especially if you are in a leadership position. It enables others to under-function and creates imbalance.
Over-functioning occurs when you take responsibility that isn’t yours or belongs to someone else. When you over-function for someone else, you can harm yourself and limit the other person’s growth potential. The more you over-function the more you enable others to under-function. They can then become too dependent on you and your expertise and easily bypass developing their own strengths. It is a dysfunctional dynamic that needs to be balanced.
You know you’re over-functioning when you take more responsibility than is reasonable or realistic. If others around you seem to be slackers, that could be a clue that you’re doing more than is good for you. Resentment at someone else’s lack of effort is also a tip off that you’re doing too much.
If you feel victimized by your efforts or if there are too many times when you feel overwhelmed or over-loaded, you’re probably over-functioning. It can be easier to jump in and do what needs to be done rather than deal with the lack of performance on the part of someone else.
If you tend to over-function, resist the temptation to be heroic or to take charge. Suspend your need for control for a few minutes and be willing to be a little uncomfortable. This opens up space to find out what else others around you are up to. They may start to function at a higher level. If they don’t, there are better ways to address the situation.
If you practice self-care it will be much easier to resist the temptation to take on too much. Self-care is not a luxury. It’s absolutely essential for high performance and balance. You can expect a deeper, more solid centeredness when you make taking care of yourself a priority. This inner balance helps you see when enough is enough and to discover alternatives to over-functioning.
Action Steps
1. Think about a time when you “picked up the slack” or found yourself deciding you had to do it yourself to get it done right.
- How did you feel about the other people involved?
- Was there any resentment or judgment against them?
- How did you feel about yourself?
- Did you feel over-loaded or like it was too much?
- Did you enjoy being the one in control?
2. What do you imagine will happen if you don’t over-function? Are these realistic concerns?
3. Focus on a current situation where you are over-functioning. Can you outline one or two realistic alternatives?
4. Download a copy of my Self-Care Inventory. If you took it more than 6 months ago, take it again and see if you’ve improved.
Over functioning can be insidious especially in a complex system. If you can’t see a way out of it, you may need assistance. Think about personal or professional coaching. Or if you’re a leader, consider executive coaching. It will help both you and your organization.
